I just don't know where to begin

Where do I begin? How do I start? I have so much to talk about but I need to find the words that will convey how I'm feeling right now (I need Linda, my very good friend in Texas to help out here because she can weave a story that grabs you and doesn't let go).

I'm elated I finished, I'm disappointed I "hit the wall" so hard and yet amazed (truly amazed) that I actually finished considering I wanted to quit and probably should've quit at mile 18.

I guess I should start with the fact that I knew, without a doubt, that I would finish and had the capacity to finish in under 4:30 hours. That was my mindset going into the run because I had run 20 miles just 3 weeks before with a 10:17 pace. Here is whole post. Blog Post on the 20 mile run. The last paragraph read, "In any case, I think I'll be able to finish my marathon in 4 1/2 hours and not the 5 hours that I thought it would take me. I now realize the fears I had of coming in last if I ran a sanctioned race were unfounded. But heh who knew." That 20 miler was one of my best runs I'd had run since I began my training.

I had no doubt I was going to finish and also had very good reason to believe I would finish it under 4:30 hours. 4:30 hours is important because this is the time I would need to qualify for Boston. Not to say I was thinking of running Boston, but it was a good target to shoot for, at least I thought so. So imagine my surprise when I started to fade at mile 10 and by mile 18 was totally convinced I couldn't take another step, let alone run another 8 miles.

The first time I hit a wall was my first try at running 13 miles. Here is what I mean about "hitting the wall" Wikipedia - Hitting the wall but I ran without carb loading the night before, without any energy beans, with almost plain water. That was a huge SEE (significant emotional event) for me and since then have never even attempted a longer run without carb loading the night before (Friday night spaghetti is now a norm in the FOX household), Gatorade and sports beans to replace the electrolytes. And it worked for I never came close to hitting the wall again, that is until yesterday. So why did I run out of glycogen yesterday and run out as early as 10 miles? I can only speculate but it had a lot to do with not respecting the how far 26 miles is and how much running 4:30 hours takes out of a body.

Up to week 17 of the 18 week training program I was developing a formula that would get me, not only through the runs, but with increasingly better times, indicating I was getting stronger . This formula was figuring out which Friday night high-carb meal fueled me the best, which sports drink tasted better than the rest, which sports beans didn't get caught in my throat, which running shoes were the best suited for my foot, which sports bra didn't rub me raw. But the most important part was, which running strategy worked the best.

In the early stages of my training, I did a fast walk, for about 10 seconds, every mile as I was drinking. This worked until I realized I was getting stronger and was running so much better that I didn't need to walk and drink every mile but every 2^nd mile. On my 20 mile run I walked every 2^nd mile for the first 10 miles then every mile on the way back. Obviously this was a good formula because that run was awesome (except for the shoe issue).

But I didn't do that yesterday, I ran the first 8 miles without stopping. Why you ask? Well the week before I had 8 miles to run and it was very very windy. If you've been reading my blog you'll know how much I hate running in the wind, so Harry suggested I only run one way with the wind behind me and I thought that was an excellent idea. My best time for 8 miles up until then was 1:21 and I finished that 8 mile run in 1:16 without the walk breaks. I don't know how much the wind actually contributed to that awesome run but probably a lot.

So yesterday, based on the 8 mile run, I mistakenly made the decision to run the first 13 miles without stopping. When I got to mile 8, I started to realize my error and abandoned the idea of running non-stop for 13 miles and took a walk break. By mile 10 I knew I was in trouble. I got to mile 13 in 2 hours and 15 minutes and realized I would never make the 4:30 time so took about 5 minutes to visit with my daughter, son-in-law and grandbaby. My daughter had a banner, "Run NANA Run," and pompoms to cheer me on, all pretty cool. I'm very glad I did take the time to visit with them.

Once I headed back I began to fade even faster and by mile 18 told Harry I wasn't going to be able to finish. I have never, not once, ever said I couldn't finish a run, and some of the runs over the last 18 weeks have been pretty dang hard. I developed a cramp in the back of leg, another first, and felt the light headedness so I knew I was glycogen depleted. I know for a fact I should have quit but …

I had my daughter, her family and a couple of friends waiting for me at the finish line, I had two friends waiting at mile 20 to run the last 6 miles with me. I had my blog to update when I got back. I couldn't disappoint you all, I just couldn't so I keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Stella met me a mile 20 and then Kim a short ways later. They had me play a game of we'll run to that tree then walk, then we'll run to that signpost and walk. We did that for 5 miles and they got me to the finish line where I had flowers, a tape to break through, balloons and Amber. Once my grandbaby, Amber, saw me she came running down the path with her arms up, I used all the energy I had to pick her up and we both crossed the finish line together.

I'm done and have a story to tell

Well I'm done and have a lot to blog about but I'm hurting right now so will try and relate the whole episode tomorrow. I didn't run in the time I wanted, and that's ok, but there's more to this story that I really need to tell. But like I said, I'm not up to it right now, I need to sleep.

I'm off

I still have about an hour but I'm starting to get ready to make sure I don't forget anything. Running is supposed to be simple but running 26.2 miles needs preparation; energy bean, Gatorade, Kleenex, heart rate monitor, and, oh ya, my husband to carry all of it. Haha

I had oatmeal with Chia Seeds for breakfast and may make a chia seed fresco before I go. I'm as ready as I could be. I know I'll make it but I hope to do it under 4:30 hours, which would qualify me for Boston. Not that I'm considering running Boston but it's a good target, don't you think?

I can take invisible but I won't accept irrelevant

I haven't been updating my blog as much as I wanted to this week because there has not been a lot to say. I only had 2 miles to run yesterday so it was pretty anticlimactic and I thought who wants to hear that I ran 2 miles yesterday, 20 miles sounds so much sexier. LOL But I do want to jot down some thoughts about the journey over the last 18 weeks.

I know exactly why I did this. Very clearly it hit me when I was watching the Biggest Loser last December. There were four people left and they were required to run a marathon as their final challenge and I remember thinking, "If they can run 26.2 miles so can I." It never crossed my mind that they were all younger than me, that didn't matter, I was fitter, or so I thought. So it's very clear what got me started but what kept me going is not quite so clear.

What was it that got me up each Saturday to run those long long miles. What got me out each Tuesday to run 3, 4, 5 miles or each Wednesday to run 8, 9, 10 miles or each Thursday to run 6, 7, 8 miles. That I'm not so sure of.

I do know one thing was all of you, all the people who were reading my blog and encouraging me to keep going. I may not have responded to each and every one of you but I read each and every word and I can't tell you how good those words felt.

I also know I have a problem with how "older" people are perceived. When I turned 40 I started to become invisible and by 50 I was totally invisible (I always thought I should go in the bank robbing business because I was invisible) but when I started to become irrelevant I got mad. How dare you treat me as if I'm irrelevant, you little whipper snapper. I can take invisible but I can't, no I won't take, irrelevant. Isn't running your first marathon at 61 a great way to say, "Heh I'm not irrelevant."

It's hard to believe I have less than 48 hours to the start of my run. I'm as prepared as I ever will be and still amazed that I not only made this far but that my running has gone so well, that my times are really not bad (for someone my age!! LOL).

I am eating lots of and lots of carbs today but trying to keep the calories in line with what Hal says and tomorrow more of the same, however, I need to drink more tomorrow. Where is that bottle of bourbon anyway?

I will post just before I walk out the door on Saturday. Wish me luck and see you all Saturday.

OMG I only 2 miles to run today

"The last three days are critical to the final taper. Usually, I rest two days and do some light jogging on the third. In this schedule for Novice runners, I advise that you do 2 easy miles today, then rest Thursday and Friday. Carbo-loading begins in earnest today. Pasta, rice, potatoes, cereals, fruits. Don't make radical changes in your regular diet, but now is not the time for filet mignon. Cut back slightly on your intake of calories, since you will be burning fewer calories in this final tapering week." That's what Hal has to say about today.

Starting to get nervous about the run on Saturday but I think that's good. I've been nervous every time I had to up my miles and those runs were usually ones so I probably should be a tad nervous. I had oatmeal with chia seeds for breakfast and was going to have a whole wheat bagel but thought about the comment Hal made about cutting back calories so decided to wait and have it for lunch. The last thing I want to do is put on weight just before the run.

The wind will just not stop

Another day on the treadmill because we had a wind advisory out yesterday. On top of Rattlesnake mountain (a large hill close by the Tri-Cities) the wind was clocked at 102MPH, that's scary. I'm so sick of wind and if it doesn't quit by Saturday, I'll have to reschedule my run.

I am mostly over my stomach flu but still get rumblings every once in a while. I am the secretary for the Board of Directors for a local hiking club called the InterMountain Alpine Club (http://www.imacnw.org), and had a board meeting last night. I wasn't sure I should have gone because of my stomach but I was OK.

I love this club and am really looking forward to hiking again. I put off hiking and snowshoeing when I got into the part of my training program that Hal Higdon calls "heavy training" and am very much looking forward to resuming them both, well at least hiking for there is very little snowshoeing left LOL. I have signed up for a hike on May 15^th, the weekend after my run, and see that it a category 3, our ratings only go to 4 so it should be a challenge. Hiking is quite different from running and I need to get my hiking legs back but that shouldn't be too hard.

I just read Higdon's comment for yesterday, "Three miles at your normal pace. And mind what you eat this week, as I write in Marathon: The Ultimate Training Guide: "Begin carbo-loading seven days in advance. Forget what you read years ago about depletion and three days of a low-carbohydrate diet before switching to a diet high in carbohydrates. (The theory was that the depleted muscles--'starved' for carbohydrates--would then be able to suck up even more carbos than normal and thus provide the marathoner with even more energy on race day.) Stick with a high-carbohydrate diet throughout the week. You don't need to eat spaghetti all seven days: Focusing on fruits, vegetables, and grains will keep you above 60 percent carbos even if you have lean meat as a main course. If you haven't eliminated between-meal junk snacks, do it now." I did my 3 miles in 28:30, a time I'm having a hard time beating.

Yesterday I cooked a whole pot full of whole wheat macaroni. I know most people think you need cheese on the mac but I don't like all that saturated fat so I put on sour cream (low fat) and salsa. OMG it is so good. I also made a pot of Quinoa (pronounced Keen, wa), a rice substitute. I'm going to convince my husband to make chicken fried Quinoa for supper tonight. Of course, I will have whole wheat spaghetti with ground turkey on Friday night because so far every time I've had that meal I've had a good run the next day.

I need everyone to send vibes to the universe and ask for a calm calm day on Saturday. No wind, OK no wind. I can control everything else but I can't control the wind.

A good run today

Because I'm tapering I only had 8 miles to run today but needed to treat this mileage with as much respect as I do longer runs. This meant I needed to carb load the night before (this has become very important to me), I needed to bring Gatorade (I don't drink water on my runs anymore), and I needed to have some energy beans because the run would take over an hour. I did all this and as I was driving over the Columbia River, I saw white caps on the water. Ah gee - wind AGAIN. My husband suggested I only run one way with the wind at my back. What a great idea but the route I take has turns and twists so you can't avoid a headwind altogether but I would be avoiding it the best I could.

My best time over 8 miles so far had been 1 hour and 21 minutes, about a 10:17 pace, and I really wanted to push and hit a 10 minute mile today. I started running into the wind right off the bat but at mile 2 my time was 18:40, a 9:20 pace, so doing OK and I figured I would have the wind at my back for the rest of the way. Well I did for a while but most of the time it was a cross wind. I hit mile 6 at 58 minutes (9:40), mile 7 at 1 hour 6 minutes and mile 8 at 1 hour 16 so a 9:30 average. YA!!!

It was a really good run today.

Tomorrow is a rest day, then Monday 3 miles, Tuesday 4 miles and Thursday 2 miles. Two days rest and then 26.2 on Saturday.